Parking Lot Intrusive Thoughts
A phone call. A dream. A thought I can't unthink.
My mom calls, and I ignore it.
Sleep on it. Just tonight. Because she's never just calling to see if I'm alright. As if the body understands the fate lingering, we toss and turn all night.
Dawn eludes me, and so does the morning alarm. I grasp for wakefulness with chores, but I can't escape the one missed call. A few hours, a few rings, I'm riding to the gym, waiting for her answer instead of singing.
heyy, I tried calling you last night
I know, I'm sorry. I was already asleep.
I just wanted to tell you, we don't have to do the Pokémon thing.
Oh, and I had a dream about your daddy. Like he was here again, but I was sleeping. It was really like he was here again, but then as I woke up, he was leaving. Isn't that weird?
Anyway, I just wanted to tell you about the Pokémon thing. I'll talk to you later.
click
My heart stops beating, and I ignore it.
Place it in an oak barrel and seal the top. Age a crooked soul to make the bleeding stop. Love lingers like a shadow: always attached, never touching. Exsanguinate the ache, let the sun bite the sin of feeling out. Watch as the shadow drowns in the light.
Maybe one day I'll realize, chasing paper parents never ends with being alive.
Thank you for reading!
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